Death Pains vs. Birth Pains

To some, this is going to sound morbid.  But, I have actually heard several people say similar things.  So, here goes.

My comparison theory.

Birth Pains - When you are about to have a baby, you have contractions.  Sometimes, you even have false labor.  And the labor process itself is (most of the time) long.  There is a lot of waiting.

Death Pains - When someone is dying, there are things that happen when they are closer to the end.  I won't go into details, but if you have experienced it, you can relate.  It is extremely interesting.  In the three weeks she was under Hospice care, there were THREE different times the nurses told me it was closer because of some of her symptoms.  See, like false labor... Again, there is a lot of waiting.


No one can predict exactly when a baby is going to come into this world.  It is the same thing about someone leaving this world.  No one knows except the Lord.

Also, pain management.  Women are amazing!  And sometimes, you cannot get the pain of labor under control.  This is also wildly true of someone who is terminally ill.  I called it "double negatives."  One day, her pain would seem to be more bearable, but her nausea would spike up, or vice versa.  It was a struggle to watch.  I remember Matt's eyes watching me through my labor with Preston.  He wanted so much to take the pain away.  I wanted so much to take the pain away from my Mom.

I only had 4 weeks.  I was a "care giver" to my Mom for 4 short weeks.  I cannot imagine going through months or years of the sort of agony that transpires when you are watching your loved one die.  It is brutal.  Each week, each day, each hour, it seemed like things were going downhill fast, too fast.


On the day my Mom died, 1/11/11, someone asked me if I had said good-bye yet.  I had said "good-bye" THREE times, probably more than that, actually.  Every night seemed like good-bye.  She was so strong. 

At around 2:00 P.M., the Hospice nurse checked her vitals and went out of the room quickly, then rushed back in.  She re-checked her with the finger thing that shows your heart rate and oxygen level.  It was blank.  She looked up at me and said if we had any last words to say to her, this was the time.  Again, you cannot be prepared for moments like this.  It was very sad and hard because she was still breathing.

Here is something positive.  The night before she died, she was able to mouth the words "I love you" and make eye contact with us and smiled when we said we loved her.  She knew we were there. 

It is almost like when a baby comes out and immediately recognizes his or her parent's voice.  Babies know who loves them.

And my Mom knew she was loved.  It should be that way at the beginning of life and at the end.

I have been able to see babies come into the world.  It is a beautiful thing that can only come from an amazing Creator.  

I had never been able to see a soul leave this world.  As hard as it was, let me tell you it is something to behold.  And I am so blessed to have had the privilege of being right by her side, along with my Dad and Matt.  My Worship Pastor, Steve Holt, was there as well.  When she took her final breath, he reminded me that when a Believer passes, they are immediately face to face with Jesus.  WOW!  Talk about your divine appointment.

We had been listening to music and Steve had been humming in the background for the last 4 hours, while we waited.  (Again, with the waiting!)

At 6:15 P.M. on 1/11/11, I looked at her and knew that the music she was hearing was better than anything here on this earth.  And I was just so relieved and grateful that she was with Jesus and there was no more pain or suffering.

1/11/11

Leave it to a computer programmer to die on a day that we can literally never forget.