Unforgettable Moments

This was my hardest day.  I have hesitated to write about the difficult parts of this journey.  Words fail to describe the devastation and hopelessness at some of the places we saw.  The need is staggering.  It got very dark on some days.


On this day, we went to a children's prison.  These government run facilities are a place where children are brought in that have either committed some sort of offense or have been found on the streets.

I cannot mention names or places or ministries that are helping, but I do want to share this story.

We came in and had a time of worship led by this incredible ministry that shares the light of Jesus at least twice a week at these places.  I was so wrapped up in worship, that, by the end, I didn't even notice that ALL of these children, ages 12-18, were down on their faces before the Lord.  They were praying and crying out to Jesus.  I did not understand all of the language, but what I saw was TRUE worship.  It was overwhelming.  I have not experienced anything like this.  It was something beautiful.  I am so grateful for this ministry that comes into these places.  Thank You, Lord.

After worship, we had a time where each child could make a cross beaded necklace.  I had noticed this girl was not participating.  So, I sat down by her.  She was mumbling, "my daddy, my daddy..."  I could not understand what she was saying.  I just started rubbing her back.  That's when one of the interns from this amazing ministry came over.  She sat in front of her and started trying to talk to this girl.  The intern explained to me that this girl was new and she had been getting picked on.  As this intern listened to this girl speak, she picked out the words, "My Mom just died."

I grabbed a hold of this girl and told her about my Mom through my tears.  I told her how she had died in January, and how sad I was.  But, that I had to believe that she was in Heaven and I would see her again because of my belief in Jesus and what He did for me and my Mom.  And that God is still good and still faithful.  The intern immediately started crying.

I don't remember what all was said, but it was overwhelming.

You can also see one of my team members right beside me, Allison.  She had felt led to come and just start praying, not knowing what exactly was happening. 

I cannot believe one of my other team members, Lauren, caught this on camera.

This moment that was so divine and appointed.  I still cannot believe it.

I wish we could have stayed all day and that I could have talked to this girl more.  It was so hard to leave.  But, I did get the chance to see this intern again later this day.  I am so glad she is able to minister to this girl.  There is also a woman (in the corner of the picture) that had been counseling with her that day after I left.
  
I will never forget this girl...

Please pray for these children and for this ministry that is there serving right now.

P.S.  I just got a message from Kirby, the intern.  (She said I can use her name!)  She said that this girl gave her life to Christ after the message today!  Praise God!!!  WOW!

The Karamajong

These stories are not in any order.  They are just a glimpse of this overwhelming experience.  Again, my words do not capture the enormity of it all.

While in Uganda, we got to go to visit the Karamajong Tribe. 

I met a boy named, Joseph.  He is 12 years old.  He stayed close by my side while we were there.  He was very sweet and protective.  He would tell me to put my camera away when he thought it might get broken or taken.  He had family there too.  He is in the middle of this picture.

Something very beautiful about Africa is that they want to sing and dance for you, which is right up my alley.  Loved it!  This group of children and women were so lovely.  We got to see the children sing.  Joseph's sister sang in the group.  Then, the ladies performed for us.  It was beautiful.  The worship is so sincere and genuine.  I was so moved.

I experienced something here that I have never seen before.  Our team was presented with gifts, lots of them.  They gave us eggs, bananas, lettuce, hand woven mats, baskets, beads, a sign, a bag and more.  It was too much.  It was so humbling.  Again, I was moved to tears.  I just can't describe it.

Next, came the beads.  All the women holding up their beautiful creations.  How do you choose?  It was so difficult.  I wish I could have bought from each one of these women. 

I did buy a bracelet from sweet Joseph.  He made it so he could sell it to get money for school fees. 

I was given a bracelet by one of the women, just for coming over to see their lovely work.

And by the way, I did buy several necklaces from them.  I would have bought more, but ran out of money...

Please pray for the Karamajong Tribe.

"Out of the most severe trial, their overflowing joy and their extreme poverty welled up in rich generosity. ³ For I testify that they gave as much as they were able, and even beyond their ability. Entirely on their own."  2 Corinthians 8:2-3

This may be taking Scripture out of context, but I literally got to experience this right in front of me.  It was something I will carry with me for the rest of my life.  I will not get over it.  And I pray I learn to give like these people gave.

To God be the Glory.  Amen.

My friend Philis

My first story has to be about Philis.

We drove up to Fiwagoh and were greeted by the singing "Welcome, welcome... so happy to see you, happy to see you."  I got out of our van and we were surrounded by children.  It is an overwhelming feeling.  Of course, I started bawling.  It was surreal.  That word will be coming up a lot and it doesn't even do it justice.
Immediately, this little girl grabbed my hand and looked me right in the eyes and said "We are going to be friends.  You are going to be my friend."  This was Philis.  And we definitely became friends and were together for my days at Fiwagoh.
The first thing you notice is the beauty of this place.  It is set in the middle of mountains and right on Lake Elementaita.  Gorgeous.  The next thing is the singing.  It is constant and simply lovely.  Next, is the notes.  I received little notes immediately from Philis and her group.  It was one of the sweetest things.
We got unloaded and ate dinner.  Then, we worshiped with them.  Again, the singing was enchanting and captivating, Heavenly.  Lots of hugs good night and off to bed.
The next morning, we started organizing our donations.  Breakfast was announced so I took my doxicyclene.  Well, breakfast was running a little late.  I didn't think anything of it... well, these meds are to be taken with food.  Needless to say, when breakfast did happen, I was nauseous.  NOOOO!!!!  I went back to my room and laid down.  I started praying.  It was so frustrating for me.  I could not believe that on my first day to serve I was sick.  Anyway, I decided to stay in my room for the morning to see if this nausea would pass since I had eaten something.  I was so upset.  I heard the children singing and having fun.  And I was stuck in my room.
Then, came the voice.  "Shahloh?"  I didn't think too much of it, thought I was hearing things.  I started reading through my sweet notes and continued praying.  The voice came again.  "Shahloh?"  Talk about a voice from above.  I got up and went down the hall and there was Philis waiting for me.  She looked up at me and asked if I was coming.  Umm, yes, yes, I am.  Without hesitation, I went with her.  I had to totally rely on the Lord's strength to get me through the day.  I had been praying Philippians 4:13 all morning.  And boy, was this verse the truth for me this day and quite frankly, all week.  His Strength.  Amen.
It was a beautiful day with my new friend, Philis.

Birthdays and Broken Arms

WOW, what a week. 

Yesterday, the day after Preston's 7th Birthday, he broke his arm in two places.  He was hot doggin' in his brand new go kart from Papa J.  He took a turn too sharp and rolled onto the side.  He actually wanted to just take a break and go again.  Needless to say, I took him to the ER.  That was a crazy drive.  I am pretty sure I got up to speeds that I won't mention... the Lord was protecting us thankfully.  Preston was screaming in pain.  This is so hard to hear as parents know when your child is in pain.  We were 30 minutes out of town, so it was a very long drive.  Preston was so sweet through it.  Through his screaming, he also started praying.  "God, please heal my arm."  I had to mention that because of how strong he is in his faith at his age.  Again, I just love this about him.  We got to the ER and of course, I parked on the totally wrong side of Mercy.  So, we had to walk through the entire hospital.  That was frustrating, but in the midst of chaos, you are not always thinking clearly.  We got to the check in.  And through my quivering voice I told the man that my son had probably broken his wrist and we had been driving for 30 minutes and could he please help us quickly.  He looked down at his wrist and asked the concierge lady to get an ice pack.  Then, very quickly, they took him back and put his arm on a board and wrapped it.  This was a surprisingly quick ER visit.  I am grateful they responded so quickly.  I had to go to registration and he had to go get x-rays.  Another no fun thing for a parent.  They don't let you go back.  When he came back, I could tell he had been crying.  I remember the x-ray I had when I broke my arm at 5 years old.  X-rays are no fun.  I am so grateful that he made it this long without breaking a bone.  Anyway, we waited just a little bit and they brought him back.  The doctor told me he had broken it in two places, the ulna and radius.  The good news is it was not all the way through so they did not have to set it.  Thank God!  They had to put a splint on.  He did not cry during this.  I am so proud of him.  He is such a great kid.  Finally, after all that, they gave him some Tylenol.  The nurses were so impressed with how calm he was and sweet.  He will have to get a cast after the swelling goes down.  That is hard because I may be flying to Africa when this happens.  But, I know he is in good hands here with his Daddy and Papas.  I am just hoping I can be here for it.  Time will tell.  Preston did not cry at the ER until we were about to leave.  He was more upset that we weren't going back to Papa J's.  But, Papa J came back to Lawton with us.  We gave him otc meds every 4 hours and he has not complained once.  Have I mentioned what a great kid he is?!!!  I was taking pictures of him and trying to make him look a little more pathetic, but the truth is, he can't help but smile his big cheezy grin.  I LOVE HIM.  He will be fine.  I know this. 

Today is my Mom's 56th Birthday, her first in Heaven.  I remember taking her to lunches on her birthday.  13 years ago, I took her out to eat at her favorite Chinese restaurant, Dot Wo's in Edmond.  I was telling her about my first date with this guy named Matt.  She got so excited and said maybe for her next birthday, we would be planning a wedding.  She also told me, "You better not screw this up, Shiloh Dawn."  (Thanks, Mom.)  To which I responded with; "Hey, I am a pretty good catch too, you know."  She loved Matt even before she met him.  (Who couldn't!)  Ironically, I was already married to him by her next birthday!!!  Lol. 

Last year, for her birthday, we went to a Japanese restaurant where they cook in front of you.  She had so much fun, we all did.  She was so happy.  The pictures from that weekend are the last I have of her.  Soon after that, in November, she started getting really sick.  And, well, you all know how quick it went after that. 

I recorded two songs for my parents birthdays last year.  "Thank you for the Music" and "Healer."  My Dad's Birthday is Monday.  So, this month is just full of celebrations.  She always said we needed to have a daughter on October 4th, so we would have birthdays October 2, 4, 6, 8, and 10. 

We love you and miss you Mama J.  The boys birthdays this year was hard on me because of missing her.  But, she would be so mad at me for that, so we celebrated doing something the boys love, swimming.  And they did have a blast last weekend and this weekend with the go karts while it lasted...

All is well today.  Preston is feeling great.  He is a trooper.  Daddy is happy because the Sooners are winning.  Papa J is doing good because he always eats well and rests better when he is here, Lol.  Bennett is getting used to having to be super sensitive to Preston's fragile state.  As for Mommy, well, I appreciate your prayers for our family in the midst of all this.  I just need extra prayer for my anxiety as I am away.  Thank you.  Days and weeks like these I REALLY miss my Mom. 

The good news is that all this warfare just means the Lord has mind-blowing, huge things in store for Africa, which gives me great hope. 

For His Glory.

Happy Birthday, Preston!!!

When the Lord gets you ready to start a family, sometimes it is not in our time.  I knew I wanted to get pregnant, but the Lord knew it was not quite the right time yet.
We had been trying for two years and I honestly thought I was not able to conceive.  It made me so sad.  I even went in to get checked out for fertility issues.  But, that month, I got pregnant.  YAY!!!

I remember taking the test and two pink lines coming up right away.  I immediately drove to Mardel and bought Matt a book titled "Congratulations, you are going to be a father."  I was so thrilled that I told the check out person, who probably thought I was nuts.  Then, I rushed home and waited for Matt.

He finally got home from a very long day, working with my Dad, and was so dirty.  Poor guy.  I was following him around in the garage trying to get him inside.  He was taking his time... come on!  He finally came in and I gave him the book.  He looked at it and then looked at me and said "What?!"  He started crying, well, I should say, we started crying and screaming and jumping for JOY.  OK, maybe I did the jumping!  Lol.

Here is just a little funny connection thing.  That night, we went to a Blazers Hockey game with our friends Amber and Abbey.  Amber is going to Africa with me next week.  We were not going to tell them because we wanted to tell our parents first, but we ended up telling them because we could not keep it in.  We told our parents, family and friends later.

Another interesting tidbit is the next week we were scheduled to go eat at our friends, Andy and Treasure's.  I should have suspected something was up when Treasure called and said they had invited Matt's brother, Mike and his wife, Chantel over as well.  Chantel announced that night that she was pregnant too and we were due really close together.  I truly think it is a TWIN thing because Thomas and Preston were born 6 days apart.  I have often said that my Mother-in-law must have felt like she was getting a set of twin grandsons.  It is pretty special.  I don't have a sister, so it was great to have someone to be pregnant with.  And our friend Treasure got pregnant again shortly after that.  Her daughter is to be married to one of our sons some day, which one she will choose is still yet to be determined.  Lol.

Anyway, we were so excited.  I remember going to the doctor to hear his heart beat for the very first time.  It was just one of those moments you will never forget.  He had such a fast, strong heart beat.  I recorded it on one of those recordable frames and put a picture of his ultrasound in it.

We had one scare with him during my pregnancy, but everything turned out fine, thankfully.

I had to be induced because I am pretty sure my babies would stay in me forever if they could.  That day, I had experienced a few contractions, but was not in pain.  Matt would sit and watch the monitor and tell me when they were coming.  I was kind of making fun of wimpy women for complaining about this "pain."  Well, let's just say that was before the doctor broke my water... after that, I knew what pain all these wimpy women were talking about.  WOW, women are just amazing.  Can I just say!  Yikes.  The pain came for sure.  And I so did get some meds!  Hallelujah for meds.

Well, Preston was big, really big.  So, labor did not go as smoothly as anticipated.

There are certain things you remember about these particular days.  I remember the doctor coming in after 2 hours of pushing and suggesting a C-section because he was stuck.  I immediately started crying and said no, I can do this, which was not wise.  I should have listened to the doctor.  I remember my doctor telling me that they were going to bring in 4 people to help stand on me in case his shoulders got stuck... whoa!  I remember her telling me to listen to her voice only and to only push when she said push, not anyone else, namely Matt.  And I honestly don't remember much more until Matt was telling me that he was here.  I had been at it for 11 hours...  For me, 11 minute C-section with Bennett versus 11 hour hard labor with Preston, I preferred the C-section.

Preston Douglas Wolff was born October 6, 2004 at 7:26 P.M.  He weighed 8 pounds 10 ounces.  The nurses nicknamed him "Samson."  He was a BIG baby, biggest in the nursery that week.  His little hands were so purple and his head was so coned from being stuck, bless his heart.  He had so much hair and really broad shoulders.

I remember them putting him in my arms and tears coming without any control.  Not the balling kind of tears, just overwhelming tears that can't stay in.  He took my breath away... still does.

There is so much to say about Preston.  He is simply delight.  He makes everyone love him.  You can't help it.  He is persuasive and persistent and a performer.  He is sharp.  He has an amazing memory.  He will talk to anyone, which is a good and sometimes not so good thing.  He loves to play Tag, as most of our youth students know.  He loves to be in front of people.  He reads with lively animation.  I love that about him, he is a story teller.  He has a schpeal that he will tell you even if you don't want to know.  "Hi, my name is Preston, and I am now 7 years old.  I am in the 1st grade and I go to Flower Mound.  This is my brother, Bennett, he just turned 5 years old and he goes to Flower Mound too.  I play T-ball, but next year will probably play coach pitch.  And I play piano and have a recital at the end of November..."  And so on and so on.  He can overwhelm you with details, but he thrives in knowing them.  I think he genuinely believes everyone is interested.  He is very much a planner and knows our schedule.  He remembers when and where and who and what and if and all that.  He cracks me up.  He is always chatty.  He is so incredibly cute, the big blue eyes and the toe-blonde hair.  I have had so many Moms tell me that their daughters want to marry him.  So many, in fact, we had to establish the "Not until you are 25" rule.  Just ask him about kissing or marriage or girlfriends.  He LOVES video games, computers and anything technologically advanced, thanks to Mama J and his Daddy.  I wish it weren't so and would worry more if he were not social, but WOW, is he social.  No worries there.  He got the "Bucket Filler" award at his school last year in Kindergarten, which was a really big deal.  He is an encourager.  He is left handed, but writes with his right hand.  He would play all day if he could.  He has energy that astounds me.  He has such a big heart.  He loves TobyMac.  He thrives in a scheduled setting, so school has been really enjoyable for him.  He loves anything in water, especially the water park.  He would go there year round.  I think sometimes his mind is about 2 steps ahead of his feet.  He is loyal and still mentions friends from when he was 1 or 2.  He is a prayer warrior.  He loves his brother and is so patient with him.  He does well to include him, actually, he is just great at including everybody.  He doesn't like disappointing you.  He wants to please you and make everyone happy.  He and I are so similar, it scares me sometimes.  He picked up a phrase in Pre-K, "That makes my heart grow big."  He still says this.  It is so sweet.

Preston Douglas Wolff, you made us a Mommy and Daddy.  We love you and are so proud of the little man that you are becoming.  You make my heart grow big with the love that you give.  Happy 7th Birthday, sweet boy.  Many adventures to come.

Happy Birthday, Bennett!!!

I am extremely sentimental and nostalgic these days so I have to write something about my Bennett on his birthday today.

Let me back up a bit.  Bennett was kind of a surprise.  It took a long time to get pregnant with Preston (2 years), so I just assumed it would take a long time again.  Boy, was I wrong!  It took 2 months... Bennett is literally 2 years almost to the day younger than Preston.  And this was not planned.  We were definitely trying to get pregnant, just not expecting it to happen so quickly.  I remember asking my prayer partner at the time, Rebecca Pruitt, to pray with me about conceiving another child.  I think she must have a pretty direct connection to the Lord because it didn't take very long for this prayer to get answered.  I am sure grateful for my sweet Ben Ben.

My pregnancy was great, no complications.  I did get sick once from dehydration.  I had gone to visit Matt at Super Summer.  It was the hottest summer on record (until this year, Lol.)  But, no worries.

Anyway, we wanted to know whether it was a boy or a girl.  And honestly, we were hoping for a girl this second time.  Matt and I actually thought maybe it was a girl.  I had a dream the night before my ultrasound that it was definitely a boy.  In my dream, I was wearing a T-shirt that said I am the Mommy to PB&J.  (My "J" named girl is still out there just waiting for us...) Anyway, the next day we went in for the ultrasound.  The nurse asked me if I wanted to know what it was.  And I said it's a boy, without even looking at the screen.  She was surprised and asked how did I know.  I said the Lord had told me in a dream.

All that to say, we were THRILLED to know our second Prince Charming was on the way. 
We scheduled my C-section for October 2, 2006.  The reason we didn't schedule it for October 6th (Preston's Birthday) was that they did not do C-sections on Fridays, so Monday, October 2, 2006, we welcomed Bennett Michael Wolff (BMW). 

I was all prepped and ready.  The Doctor started the procedure, then looked up at one of the nurses and asked, "Where's the Father?"  Somehow in the midst of all the craziness, no one remembered to go get Matt.  So, one of the nurses sprints down the hall and grabs Matt.  He walks in the door JUST in time.  That was kind of funny, looking back on it.  The first thing the doctor said was, "It's definitely a boy and he's peeing everywhere!!!"  LOL!  He was born at 8:06 A.M. and weighed 8 pounds 6 ounces.  (You know how I love number coincidences!)
In the video, you see me shaking and my teeth chattering.  I was freezing.  Don't know if that was the room or all that epidural medicine!  

After this, family came.  Meemaw and Papaw Wolff, Uncle Mike, Mama J and Papa J.  We also had several Cameron Baptist Church friends come visit as well.  Then Preston met Bennett after his Mother's Day Out that day.  He was a little skeptical at first.  But, it didn't take him long to come around.  Preston is the most amazing Big Brother to Bennett.  One of the sweetest memories I have as a Mom to these two precious boys is their joyful laughter.  There was this belly laugh that Bennett had that only Preston could make him do.  It brings tears to my eyes just remembering that.  They both have the best laughs.  And I am so thankful for the joy that they bring to so many.  It is contagious.

More about Bennett on his special day.  He is such a sweet, compassionate, intense, affectionate little man.  He loves to play in the dirt or sand, digging for dinosaur bones or buried treasure.  He has killer dimples.  His smile is irresistable.  And when he hugs you, he squeezes with passionate intensity.  He has always been artistic.  He loves to draw pictures for everyone.  He loves Mickey Mouse.  And he loves to sing and dance or shake his tail feather!  He LOVES coins.  It is hilarious to see him unabashedly ask for your coins.  He is probably already pretty wealthy through all his coin collecting.  He loves younger children, especially his cousins.  He has always had a special way with my two neices.  It is quite sweet and yet another reason he would make an incredible big brother to a little sister.  (Wishful thinking).  He is super intense and passionate like his Papa J, which is a bit intimidating.  My Dad and him are a lot alike, which scares Papa J and me and Matt, LOL!  He can still take a nap during the day and when he wakes up, we call him Mr. Squishy, because it takes him a long time to get back to himself.  He wants to cuddle for a bit.  He loves school and his teachers really love him.  He is pretty independent and does not need to always play with someone.  He can handle playing on his own, which is different from Preston.  He gets more confident when he is around his Big Brother.  The two of them crack me up.  Bennett has a natural mercy and nurturing care for others just like his Daddy.  I cannot even remember our lives without him in our little family.  He speaks with wisdom far beyond his years and says some of the sweetest things.  He is quite charming.  I have had some of his past teachers admit that they let him get away with more just because of how he is.  This is something we will deal with forever I am sure.  His love for his family is so beautiful.  He prays for people by name and knows where his Mama J is and is so very sensitive.

We have read, "Guess How Much I Love You."  There is a line in the book that says "I love you to the moon and back."  Well, guess what he said to me just this morning... "I love you all the way to Heaven and back." 

Bennett Michael Wolff, I feel exactly the same way.  Happy 5th Birthday!  You are becoming a little man right before me.  And I am so grateful to be your Mommy!  I love you all the way to Heaven and back, sweet boy!

Anticipate. Experience. Reflect.

Recently, I received 3 devotion journals from Visiting Orphans.  The first is called Anticipate.  It has been so encouraging.  THREE WEEKS!!!  I cannot believe it. 
I am anticipating and expecting great things. 

"God has opened doors for you to go on this trip.  He is calling you to grow in your faith, to become someone better than you are right now.  He is opening your eyes to live differently than ever before.  The challenge for you will be not just to know the right things to do but put them into practice.  And to do this, not just on your upcoming trip, but from now on... People will see a difference, you will experience joy, and you will take another step toward becoming the disciple of God that you are meant to be."

May it be so, yes Lord!

Anticipate.  Experience.  Reflect. 

2 Corinthians 10:15b-17
Our hope is that, as your faith continues to grow, our area of activity among you will greatly expand, so that we can preach the gospel in the regions beyond you. For we do not want to boast about work already done in another man’s territory. But, “Let him who boasts boast in the Lord.”

Let this be my heart's cry every day.

Glory to Your Name, Jesus!